he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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