You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
