I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
