All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
