If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
