i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
