He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
