Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
