You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
