I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
