yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
