I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
