Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
