This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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