What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
