redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
