not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
