Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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