I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
