My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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