Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
