it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
