drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
