I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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