Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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