I don't think brook has ever known best
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
