Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this boner is exhausting
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
