we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
