in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize