It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
soo... how was my night?
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