Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
