I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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