She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
