stop calling my apartment porn island.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
