I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
