dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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