I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have fence marks all over my body
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
