all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
