I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
