He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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