Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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