doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
