ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
