scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
