You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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