Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
