Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
