Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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