The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
