I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
