I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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