I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
