if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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