he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think my vagina is haunted
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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