You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
