You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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