saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
