Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
