I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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