First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
