i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
