im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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