so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
only if we run a train.
done.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
