Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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