theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
